halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
