Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
