Christians are straight up FREAKS
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
