I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
