Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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