He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
