How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
