The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just gargled with NyQuil
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
