I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
