I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
