I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize