i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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