this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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