There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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