the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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