don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
