she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
