Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
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