I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
