Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
