This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
too bad you live with your parents still
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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