at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
