why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
