I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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