So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
