I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
