Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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