sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize