He felt like a one man threesome
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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