I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
