So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
my shit smells like andre
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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