plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
