JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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