i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
