I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
