so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm at about main and main street
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
