How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
