so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
