i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
