I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
