weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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