if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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