So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
