I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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