I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
