First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
