I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
it glows. i had to have it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize