yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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