Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
