You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
