Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
