Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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