is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
