Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
