I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
