fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
