I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
