Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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