Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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