i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I met the friendliest cop last night
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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