so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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