Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Houston, we have a squirter
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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