Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize